I’ve come across many young students who are hesitant to even start playing on their instruments during lessons. It may seem that they are looking for all sorts of excuses to avoid playing and if we are not mindful enough, we could just easily classify them as “rascals/rebels”. However, I’ve come to realize over the years that most of them behave this way due to a similar root of the problem: A very low sense of self esteem.
This comes out in many different forms in my students, namely: 1) Extremely negative towards situations 2) Beating themselves up in every possible way 3) Easily anxious 4) Does not persist long enough to find a solution to a problem
It’s a very long journey in guiding kids with low self esteem, but I have seen some of them transformed overtime, even if they have stopped learning music. What has worked so far for them and myself is to constantly pen down their thought process and draw them out. Visualizations work wonder for kids and anyone who’s receptive to them!
In this particular example, this student is extremely temperamental and has an extremely low sense of self esteem. His most common phrase is “I can’t do it!” When I started to draw out how his brain was working ( he named the wall of negativity “Trump wall” lol..) and broke down the reasons why he thought he couldn’t do it, he was able to see his own thought process clearer. ( He had fun penning these down as well!) Once we sorted these out, he was much more receptive to play on his violin and work through problematic passages. This of course took many months to cultivate the awareness of this mental barrier in him.
The goal is not to change the students, but to at least bring out the awareness of their own problems and to see an improvement through music. We can only do that much within a weekly lesson. The practice of mindfulness needs to build from home and the communication with parents on this is crucial as well.
It’s always a learning journey for myself as well whenever I deal with my students. Growing with them is not an easy path, but definitely a rewarding one when you start seeing more smiles and sparks in their souls <3