I’ve come across many young students who are hesitant to even start playing on their instruments during lessons. It may seem that they are looking for all sorts of excuses to avoid playing and if we are not mindful enough, we could just easily classify them as “rascals/rebels”. However, I’ve come to realize over the years that most of them behave this way due to a similar root of the problem: A very low sense of self esteem.

This comes out in many different forms in my students, namely: 1) Extremely negative towards situations 2) Beating themselves up in every possible way 3) Easily anxious 4) Does not persist long enough to find a solution to a problem

It’s a very long journey in guiding kids with low self esteem, but I have seen some of them transformed overtime, even if they have stopped learning music. What has worked so far for them and myself is to constantly pen down their thought process and draw them out. Visualizations work wonder for kids and anyone who’s receptive to them!

In this particular example, this student is extremely temperamental and has an extremely low sense of self esteem. His most common phrase is “I can’t do it!” When I started to draw out how his brain was working ( he named the wall of negativity “Trump wall” lol..) and broke down the reasons why he thought he couldn’t do it, he was able to see his own thought process clearer. ( He had fun penning these down as well!) Once we sorted these out, he was much more receptive to play on his violin and work through problematic passages. This of course took many months to cultivate the awareness of this mental barrier in him.

The goal is not to change the students, but to at least bring out the awareness of their own problems and to see an improvement through music. We can only do that much within a weekly lesson. The practice of mindfulness needs to build from home and the communication with parents on this is crucial as well.

It’s always a learning journey for myself as well whenever I deal with my students. Growing with them is not an easy path, but definitely a rewarding one when you start seeing more smiles and sparks in their souls <3

Building Confidence

#mattersofthemind

You know the times when we have students who constantly refuses to pick up their instrument to play or try to read their notes, and start to get really distracted and do everything else besides playing their instrument?

“Why are they being so difficult? What’s wrong with them? Why aren’t they listening to us? It’s not that hard to read a few notes, isn’t it?” - thoughts that might run through your mind as you struggle to make the lesson more productive😖

The truth is- a lot of times, WE are not listening to their struggles. Beneath those seemingly “naughty behavior”, there’s an underlying reason that I noticed in a lot of kids pertaining to note reading issues: A lack of confidence. They don’t have enough confidence to deal with a difficulty or are aware of their own behavior as a result of that. (other than the fact that they are just playful)

When you start to draw out or simplify your students’ struggles in words or drawings, things become clearer and they become more receptive overtime. I have tried this with most of my kids who are in similar situations and they have shown improvements as a result, so I would love to share them:

Pinpoint the root of the problem and guide the child through his/her own struggles (write/draw it out! Or get them to do it.)
Prompt the questions and answers if they are not not able to express themselves accurately
Let them know that it’s OK to have these struggles, and we can try our best to overcome it together
Giving them the boost in confidence in saying “I can do it!” 10 times in a row can instill the idea to be comfortable with themselves with saying that🤩 (they usually break out laughing by the 6th time, but it does wonders to the brain of a child who’s initially uncomfortable with this idea)

After a certain period of time, you will realize that they start to get better and more comfortable with the difficulty.

When we listen and read our students’ body and verbal language, we can better identify the underlying problems, which usually are mostly #mattersofthemind. We’ll need to be flexible in dealing with the different personalities of our students. No one said it’s going to be an easy process and it is very tedious, but if we hope to see some improvements in the long run for some of our students, try it!🙏🏻

#tryit #buildconfidence #violinlessons #musiceducation #kids #mattersofthemind